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| "Foreplay" literally means "the play that comes first," the play that you engage in before you go the distance together. We genu engage in before you go the distance together. We generally think of this in physical terms: foreplay builds intrigue, excitement, and desire-creating readiness-before sex. Foreplay is time well spent, because it makes the whole experience more satisfying. Intellectual foreplay offers a variation on this idea: it is the stimulation and interest that is created between two people when they communicate effectively. Intellectual Foreplay means taking the time to discuss important questions with a prospective partner and to discover compatibility before you "go the distance" and make a commitment to a relationship. Just like its physical counterpart, Intellectual Foreplay can build excitement and desire-or quickly reveal a lack of compatibility, saving you months, or even years, of developing a relationship that isn't going to work. |
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| If you know where to touch her, you've conquered half the challenge |
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| A woman's body is an amazing thing. They are curvaceous and graceful, and just soft enough to cuddle. And when you use your big, manly hands to touch her in precisely the right spots, she melts. The problem is, they are women. She is not going to tell you where she wants to be touched, how hard, or for how long. She is going to make you guess and if you get it wrong she will pout. For years if we have to. Well, it's about time somebody handed you a road map. And the map I have put here doesn't just show the major highways. This is complete visitor's guide marked with fast lanes, pit stops, and scenic overlooks. Follow my routes and you'll take your partner exactly where she wants to go without stopping to ask directions. |
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| Her Lips |
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| The number one mistake married guys make during sex? Not enough kissing. It's a big one, Women love to kiss, and I've heard a lot of them complain that guys just don't spend enough time on it. But don't just do it more, do it betters. Try varying the intensity (kiss her softly, then more passionately, then slow it down again). When you're done with her lips, move on to her cheeks, eyelids, forehead, nose, neck, or earlobes. Bonus points if you kiss her for several minutes without letting your hands roam (focus on the kiss), and let her indicate when she's ready to move on. |
| Her Scalp |
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| You've noticed that a lot of women play with their hair? It's not just a nervous h nervous habit; we do it because it feels good. Chances are she's wishing you would play with it, too. The scalp can be very sensitive to stimulation, and since she's probably not expecting you to lavish any attention on it, surprise her. Having her hair brushed can be a very sensual experience or run your fingers through it as you're kissing her or simply caress her scalp gently with your hand. Bonus points for washing or blow-drying (just leave the actual styling to her-you'll never get that thing with her bangs to work out right). |
| Her Breasts |
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| Breasts are familiar territories for most men and they're fun, so it's unlikely you'll shortchange them. The mistake you're more likely to make is o make is giving them too much (or too vigorous) attention before she's ready. Over-stimulating the breast can be numbing or painful for women during some parts of their menstrual cycle. Try taking the less-is-more approach, Touch her breast softly, then lift your hand away from it and let her have that important moment of anticipation. Stick to indirect stimulation of the nipples until they become aroused and don't just focus on the bulls' eye. Keep in mind that the entire breast is rich in nerve endings. |
| The small of her Back |
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| Don't make the mistake of making her breasts the only stop on your way to the main event. That's whain event. That's what she's expecting. Surprise her by asking her to lie on her stomach (or on top of you) and massaging her lower back. Besides being rich in nerve endings, the small of the back has pressure points where stress can accumulate. A massage there might not turn her on in the same way that sucking on her nipple or rubbing her clitoris will, but it'll feel good and help release stress, What's more, it could even help with arousal, by increasing blood flow and engorgement in the pelvic area. Start by applying steady but moderate pressure with your fingertips and if she likes it, work up to a deeper massage. Bonus points for placing a few kisses there as well. |
| Her Soft Spots |
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| Here's where you can really get creative. Try tenderly kissing the backs of her knees, the insides of her arms, her inner thighs, or the hollow of her neck. Women love to have these areas gently stroked, kissed, licked, or blown upon. These areas are all also made of very soft tissue, so treat lightly. Gentle stimulation is going to be much more arousing than pressure that's hard or rough. Catching her off guard can be half the fun. A lot of people don't realize that having a tongue going up their inner arm is going to be erotic. It's the allure of the novel. And if you're paying attention to these spots, the pace tends to be leisurely-that's going to do a lot for her, too. |
| Her Buttocks |
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| Ready to get to the bottom of things? A lot of women like their buttocks attended to, and with more vigor than you might think. You can use pressure on a butt that you wouldn't use on a breast. It's not sensitive the way a nipple or a clitoris is so you can knead them and squeeze them. Bonus points for complementing her rear as you work it. |
| Her Perineum |
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| The perineum, the area between the vagina and the anus, is very sensitive for a lot of women and it often goes unexplored. It's made from tissue similar to the vaginal lips so there are a lot of nerve endings there. It also has an element of intimacy that might turn her on. It's not a part of the body that's normally exposed, so she's going to feel like she's giving you special privileges, which can be exciting. Because it's sensitive, stick to a light touches at first and hold off until she's been aroused for some time. For a smoother experience, try using a little artificial lubricant or massage oil. |
| Her Clitoris |
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| For women, it's the most erotically charged spot on the body. But for many men, it's still a mystery. It doesn't have to be. It helps to understand that the clitoris is made of the exact same tissue and has the exact same nerve endings as the head of the man's penis. So while it's fine to tease the clitoris now and then throughout foreplay, there's going to come a time when she'll going to need direct clitoral stimulation. Once the excitement gets to a certain level, she's going to enjoy consistent stimulation through her orgasm. Stimulate her clitoris orally or manually as part of your foreplay. Or, during intercourse, you can help give it extra attention by riding "higher" than usual, or, better yet, letting her get on top. One other thing you should know about the clitoris. While men usually become hypersensitive after orgasm and want stimulation to stop, women prefer clitoral stimulatir clitoral stimulation to continue through straight through their orgasm, and sometimes even afterwards. It continues to feel good and sometimes they might want to dive directly into round two. |
| Her Fingers & Toes |
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| A little creativity can go a long way when we're talking about sex. Here's a tip: Try sucking on her fingers or toes during foreplay or intercourse (granted, unless you're a contortionist, the toe thing may be a bit rough during intercourse, but you can usually finou can usually find her fingers). They're a lot more sensitive than you might think and for whatever reason, a relatively large area in the brain receives sensation for them. Lightly kissing or passionately sucking them, especially combined with the sensations you're causing in her genitals, can be incredibly erotic. Some women can even reach orgasm just by having their feet massaged. |
| Her G-spot |
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| The G-spot may be the granddaddy of the erogenous zones, yet it's still one of the most controversial and experts don't even agree on whether or not it exists. But there's no harm in looking. Orgasms that originate from the G-spot feel different for her than those that originate from the clitoris. You're aiming for a sensitive area halfway between the back of her pubic bone and her cervix. If a woman is lying on her back and you insert a finger or two palm up, you can use a 'come here' motion to stimulate it. During intercourse, the best position to stimulate the G-spot is with the woman on her back, legs up and pelvis tilted forward, and you kneeling in front of her. For bonus points, try giving her a "blended orgasm" by aiming for both her G-spot and her clitoris at once. Rear-entry position is best for this, since your penis will hit her G-spot and you'll still have enough maneuverability to reach around and stimulate her clitoris with a finger. |
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